numbness surrounds me...or is it boredom?

Despite having a thousand and three things...or more...to do, boredom has engulfed me. Unfortunately, this boredom has taken away with it all my motivation and patience to do what I like to do...I still enjoy doing them, just that a huge part of me wants to stone in my bed and wait for the day to end. As much as I dislike social contact, I must say that talking to people can sometimes get rid of all that boredom inside you. Anyway, at least there are still stuff to do like reading science fiction, physics, philosophy, doing math, debating over philosophical issues alone, understanding myself in a rational and scientific way and looking at rotten oranges.

I've always tried to understand myself and why I was placed here which explains why I got interested psychology and philosophy...but the more I try to understand myself, the more difficult it gets. I have come up with some explanation for my actions and why I do what I do and stuff but its complicated...I'm probably doing this due to my huge ego but ah shit...whatever...physics and math are simpler and less confusing.

However, what does all these theories and equations add anything more to this world. From a philosophical perspective, it cannot be proved that the reality that we are experiencing is the reality...its entirely possible that this universe is a dream, a dream that we haven't woken up from...it could also be like in the case of the people living in plato's cave. These people are tied to the ground such that they can only see the dark interior of the cave and nothing else. These people think that the interior of the cave is all there is and there is nothing more to it. Then, one day, someone living in the cave managed to break free and saw everything outside the cave and he came back to the cave to tell the rest that what reality that they perceive is only an illusion and that there is a lot more out there. However, the people didn't believe him and mocked at him.

So, what if, the reality that we experience right now is only an illusion, then, are we wasting our time? I don't really think so. If all these is really an illusion, then, the only way that we are going to know about the real reality is to understand this reality as much as possible. The story also tells us about the harms being ignorant. Everyone of us are ignorant in some sense, some of us are more ignorant than others...but we have to try to be as unignorant as possible. A quote from socrates is that a life lived unexamined is a life worth not living at all. Shit, I'm still recovering from that "thing" and yet, I feel so lonely and at times, depressed. I hope God shows me the right path...I really don't want to think about 8518 but i can't help it...anyway, i hope i'll be able to solve that puzzle. MARCUS, DID YOU REALLY SOLVE IT?...